the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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