They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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