i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Say something about gay babies.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
