So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want to be your penis for a week.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
