Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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