I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
