Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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