I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
