I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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