Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
