As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
