Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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