you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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