I think scott just propositioned me for sex
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
