Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
