For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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