Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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