every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
