Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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