my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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