hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
