I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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