He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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