I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
