just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
