I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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