it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just puked most of my soul out..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
