I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize