He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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