So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
whose parrot is this?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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