plz talk dirty to me
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
