the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize