just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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