What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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