there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
