Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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