Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
