so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't think brook has ever known best
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize