I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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