We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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