"it" just moved
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
