Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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