look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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