batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
