do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
