i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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