so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
