There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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