I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize