I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
