Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
