just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
