There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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