A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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