We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
