omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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