margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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