I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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