Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
